Behold the Beauty

Recently, I was talking to a sweet friend of mine. He was explaining to me that he has an odd type in women. He said that it was difficult to pin-down. This young man told me that though he could appreciate the “beauty” of lots of women, he did not want to date or eventually marry someone that he could not look at in the eyes and honestly tell her that she is “the MOST beautiful woman he had ever seen”. Women like that were few and far between, but when he thought when he truly found her, he would know. Now, though I appreciated the sentiment this made me a little uncomfortable. Another friend who was with us explained that she found her fiancé unattractive at first, but after getting to know him, there is no one else that she would rather look at forever. I agreed. There have been many young men I have dated that it took time before I found them to be attractive at all, let alone the most handsome man in the world. He said that he did not think it was that way for him. And we moved on. I realized later that though I did believe that attractiveness was something that can be found in time, I was uncomfortable with his statement for more than just that reason. Here is my full response to all who are searching for “the MOST beautiful person they have ever seen.”

What is beauty? I look at women of all ages, colors, abilities, sizes, and shapes and for each one I can find something beautiful about them (same goes for men). A couple years ago, for Mother’s Day, I put together a scrapbook of all the pictures I find my mother most beautiful in. There were portrait style pictures, there were selfies, and there were candid shots. Some she was dressed up for, others she was caked in mud. I called the album “Behold,” in reference to the old saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I wanted my mom to see past her perceived flaws, to the beautiful daughter of God she is. My favorite picture in that entire album was one of my mother and I. I had been on a church trip where we honored our pioneer heritage by walking almost forty miles in four day. I, however, had sprained my ankle just two days before, so I hobbled along the trail as best I could and spent most of the day with leaders who, when I got tired, would drive me to the next meeting spot. I was exhausted and emotional. I felt alone, in pain, dirty, and angry. I was getting out of a leader’s car when I saw some weird person hanging around the front. I grabbed my crutches and pushed open the door. Looking up, I saw my mother above me. I was immediately filled with joy at the sight of her face. I jumped out of the car ignoring the crutches that were tumbling over. I grabbed that woman; holding her close to my chest. I had never seen anyone more beautiful that my mother covered in mud and grass stains, wearing pioneer clothing, and sweating in the blistering July sun. My mother’s smile took all that grossness away and she was beautiful. That day, I beheld my mother in a new way and it was glorious.

When I get married, I wish to marry a man that thinks I am beautiful. I really do. But I do not want to marry a man who marries me because I am beautiful. In one book I am writing, called Andrea (which you can read under the Zee Stories tab;), there a scene where Andrea is walking down the pier with a boy. He smiles and tells her that she is beautiful. The book says Andrea smiled because she knew that he fully believed it was true. What he said was more than, you look pretty today, or you have a good body. That boy called her beautiful as if it were part of her actual being, a defining characteristic of her as an intelligent, compassionate, nurturing, virtuous, confident woman. This is more than ‘the hots’, it is almost sacred to be able to look at someone and know that no matter what they are the embodiment of beauty to you. People get old, they gain weight, their hair turns grey or falls off completely, but beauty has never been exclusive to how someone appears in a moment, but rather is a reflection of the right person’s desire to look into their face forever. Seeing not only who they are now, but the being of glory, beauty, and royalty they will be in eternity. Someday, when I get married, my husband will be able to behold me and not say that I am the MOST beautiful woman he has ever seen, but that I, as an individual, am beautiful.